02nd August 2000 AD

The internet is an addictive thing, atleast for me it is. Its essentially all I do. The fact I'm in the same old chat rooms day-in, day-out. Practically since I first got a pc a few years ago, I'd use the internet, I started with AOL (please don't hate me!) and essentially, it kept me in a small circle of people, most of who, I didn't really get on with, or not atleast. When I quit aol, mainly because of the phone bill, I switched to an obscure English ISP, and with that I started to venture out into the big scary world of the internet, where everyone is out to get you because they are mean and evil... Actually, the world outside of aol isn't as scary as they'd want you to think. Actually, its pretty fun, I became interested in this thing called rpg maker 95... And started to use my pc, creatively, okay, so its hardly difficult, but I figured out switches all on my own, so I must be good at it! I put the thing on disk, and gave it to a few friends. Even though it was short lived, I guess it was pretty fun, and I think that was just after my time using knp, in which I stole some-bodies graphics and made a pretty good game. Then I found this thing called Sphere, it was still in the funky old SphereScript stages, and still had functions like BeginRender and EndRender, and I pretty much had no idea that I had to compile scripts for them to work, geeze, I was an idiot. I mean, I'd always been into games, but I'd normally be playing them, heck, as far back as I can remember, I pretty much had a good old nes, actually, my brother had it, and I'd always borrow it to try and complete Zelda 2... Anyhow, as far as my memory goes, I must have been born at age 6, and got my first console at age 7, erm, well my brother got it. But then again, with where I live, what else is there to do but play video games and watch tv? Nothing! Unless I'm religious that is, in which case I could hang around with "old people" in a church, where they have the inability to buy carpet and comfortable chairs. Its kind of funny, I'm not religious because there's a church near by, probably a stone throw away, actually. Or maybe I'm not religious because religion makes no sense, or my mum is religious, and this is me "rebelling"? Whatever it is, there's just nothing to do where I live, and life "before computers" (BC) was boring. Maybe I'm some-what of a nerdy computer user, maybe, some of the people at my school call me a hacker, which is technically wrong. Since they actually mean the word cracker, which I'm definitely not... People who know me, will know that I'd prefer to play a game of soccer than sat at a pc screen at school, because the internet at school is different to the internet at home. At home I use a pc in a room that is atleast one room away from anyone else in my family, which gives me the chance to react however I want to people I meet online. Yeah, this is essentially, how talking to people online is neat. Whether its the really insane girl from some obscure state (who I get on with surprisingly well, since sometimes my sanity is just not apparent), or a friend in real life. Although, most of my friends in real life, don't actually know my internet personality. I doubt my internet personality (if there's such a thing) is that much different from my offline personality. My offline is more of a quick one line joke, and my online personality is more developed, I think. I would think that people not so popular offline, are probably going to be more popular online, maybe because they have better developed typing skills because they hardly ever venture away from a keyboard? Perhaps. It doesn't work that way. Popular people are interesting, and even if they have to type using one finger whilst squinting at the keyboard, they fair okay in the world of protocols. Although the power balance between popular people offline and popular people online is more even. I mean, lets face it, the misfits of society are more likely to create a good webpage (technically, atleast) than a popular person using say geocities? Or maybe they might use frontpage, which (as far as I'm concerned) doesn't create cool webpages. It creates run of the mill, sites. Also the way it deals with font tags is stupid... You can almost definitely tell if a page is made with frontpage, which is the bad thing about it. I know the internet is a more intestering place because alot of people can use it though, so maybe "friendly" software isn't such a bad thing after all. I would think I use the internet too much. Way too much. I mean, I'm currently sat infront of a two screens, a tv screen in the other room in which I have my head slightly angled towards, and a pc screen... The tv has some dull brightly-colored (oxymoron?) childrens tv show. TV is a tightly controlled thing though. We have to pay for a tv license so that we can be brain washed by comercials? I think, if I have to pay for a tv license, I want constant shows, and no comericals. If I have to pay, don't give me adverts, if its free (like free software with built in adverts that you ignore while using, like opera) you can brain wash me if you must. But no, people have to pay? Also the government make it so there's only a few channels? That sucks. Let there be atleast 50, competition is good. But instead, anyone that wants more channels has to probably use Sky... Erm, yes well, I use the internet too much. I can relate what I was just saying to the internet, for example. There's a lot of channels, not all of it is good, but you can find something that interests you, personally. Choice is not a bad thing. If you think about tv channels from a governments point of view, if a station makes money, they get tax, so they can continue to pretend to do politics? (poli == poly == many, tics == a blood sucking parasite? Oh, now politics make sense!) When have the government really done anything that really makes a difference? In Denmark, (I think), the government made using bikes a viable method of transport, and probably helped clear up the environments atmosphere, considering there's more bikes than people... It seems that our government aren't interested in competition though. They allow some companies, without naming names to have unfair advantages, like BBC for example, why should they get money from the tv license we pay when ITV doesn't? Then BBC makes adverts that boast about how good it is because "of the unique way it is funded"... Heh, by money? Heh, very unique indeed! Other companies are BT, and maybe the national lottery, I would have liked to see "the people's lottery" with Richard Branson using it to generate 100% of the profits for charity, but somehow, the government decides this is a bad thing? There should be another national lottery, and the one that does best, should become the new national lottery, surely? I just think its dumb. So the internet is good because of the wide range of choice, the people from all over the world, the online comics, and getting the occasional email. I don't get very many emails though, its that strange sensation of being online all the time, I mean, why bother emailing "that guy" if he's online and avialable to chat? Besides, how good are the emails you get anyway? There's no such thing as an indepth conversation via email for me. Its more like either a one way monologue or a quick note or two about such and such. My social skills aren't very good either, espiecally to certain people, I guess. (In a way, the person you're talking to has to teach you to converse? I can talk to my friends better than I can my family because they've taught me to? Maybe you don't understand that, oh well...) For me, the act of being taught to talk to someone, just doesn't exist online. Within a degree, once you've mastered talking online to any one person, you've mastered it for all. Within reason, ofcourse, its just the usual chit-chat, and maybe a conversation might start, if not... never mind, there's always the next time they log in.. Also, I get on better with people who are online alot. Purely for the reason that I get to talk to them more. Take for example, a girl online, who we'll call Rayna, (pronounced rain-na, but not her real name anyway), she's online alot, and I normally talk to her alot, there isn't anything special between us, but we just talk. Now, there's a girl that lives on the same street as me, that is more than likely the real life-equilivant of Rayna, and I dislike her. I don't know why, I just don't like her, I never even gave her a chance. I didn't even think, "she can earn my friendship if she wants", I don't want nor need to be friends with her. So why the hell is online different to offline? Text is toneless, even randomly cased words have no tone, (even though they are annoying) so the text speaks for itself. You can put a voice of the person who you're talking to into your head, and they can't spoil that. Its like my pc is my best friend, atleast it doesn't shout at me, I guess. So how can you tell if you're addictived to the internet? Last night when I went to sleep, I had to close my curtains to stop the early morning sun from shining through. I'm online, every-day, a holiday, (a holiday-holiday, not a holiday from school so that I can work 24/7) frightens me, even a week-end away from my pc is a disappointment. Also if you have alot of music on your computer, that you've downloaded is a good sign too... Yeah, I have lots o' music. Err, ditigal quality music that is, midi does not, nor will ever count.

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