03rd August 2000 AD

Religion sucks. Who in their right mind believes in god?! Its just an easy way of saying, I don't know how the universe was created, therefore I'll invent some lame idea that there's this higher power being called god... All religions seem to have some form of god, and all religions seem to focus on one thing, controlling people. How else could you get a society to behave if you didn't offer the worse punishment ever? So, it would seem to me, that the 'guy' (or girl) that created the idea of god, is in theory, the one that millions worship.. So, in my opinion, people follow stupid behaviour patterns just because somebody invented something? Well, look at tv... people worship that, I guess... But if there really was a god, wouldn't it control the weather and somehow throw a lightning bolt down and stop me from posting this online? Well, its online, so I guess not. Maybe god believes in freedom of speech? Err, that was created by mankind too... Why doesn't god kill off the other religions, if god said that you were not allow to worship idols? There's more than one religion, so if you pick the wrong one surely you're just making god mad? Maybe you get an extra year in purgatory (you know, the half heaven half hell place?) every time you worship the wrong religion? Maybe the dinosaurs ticked god off by eating each other? How come not a single religion has dinosaurs built into it if we now know that dinosaurs were around before man?! Gee, lets update the "good book" to say that Moses used the bridge to get over the red sea, and that the Egyptians got eaten by a t-rex? How many true miracles happen nowadays? I don't see any? Does god have some kind of strange humor and forced it so that miracles only happen in video games? Isn't it more likely that we ourselves are some kind of video game? Where existence doesn't make sense because the game designer of the universe has gone to lunch? What if the his computer crashes?? Hmm, that doesn't make any sense right? Well, neither does the theory that god created the universe in seven days... How powerful would a god be if it took him/her seven days to create such a minor thing as a universe? Religions say that god is all powerful and nothing stands in gods way. ... Enter the devil.. The devil is religions way of saying, oops we messed up so we need something to explain the evil in the world... but a minute ago they said that god was all powerful?! Could it be that god is like a fairy? And the every time someone stops believing god has some powers drained, or maybe a finger drops off... I don't know! The thing is, which religion has any proof of their god existing? Do we have to believe it to be able to see it? Is that why people go to church? No. Its not, or atleast it wasn't in say, 17th century England... You see, peasants were forced to go to church, and then give donations to the church... by church I mean King... The King created his own religion so that he could have a divorce and burnt down all the other churches / took their gold because other churches must be evil? Maybe the church is just the pillar of the community? Well, not online it isn't... and it certainly isn't for me... Church is depressing... the songs (hymn's?) they make you sing are slow... The "storytime" part is boring, and makes no sense... And if god was so powerful... why did he have to flood the Earth? Why couldn't he just take Noah and co to one side, then vaporize everyone else?! It would be more likely that if you went to the gates of heaven, there'd be someone waiting there, and they'd ask you a question or two... Imagine this... <God> Why do you think you should be allowed in heaven? <Flik9x> Well, I still don't believe in heaven... <God> What do you mean you still don't think there's a heaven?! You're dead, you're not dreaming, you will not wake up... <Flik9x> You're mean... <Devil> Flik9x... Flik9x.. Flik9x... (echo voice) want to come down to hell? <Flik9x> Eck! No... <Devil> Aww, but since we had air conditioning installed its really nice here... <Flik9x> Really?! Sweet... ... I mean, think about... the devil tempts us with cool stuff, and god gives us a halo and a harp? God sucks! The devil sounds like the cool guy (or girl? heheh) who gets bad press, maybe? Think about it... the bad thing about the devil is you get your soul taken? Who's actually seen their soul? Doesn't god take your soul as well? Maybe they just look after it... so either god or the devil is fine? God is the one that offers you the (according to religions) eternal punishment? The devil is the one that offers everything you could ever need, hi-fi, computer, tv, beer, whatever? Hmm, sounds unfair... Maybe the best thing to do would be to be good during life... and when you get to the gates of heaven... Ask for a tour of both heaven and hell, and if you decide that hell is for you... Ask for a "Get out of hell, free" card? If you were good during you're life wouldn't you deserve the choice? That's what it is really, you have the choice to decide... Do you want to live your life thinking about something that there is no proof that it exists, or do you want to join the non-believers and remain sane? I mean, think about the logic that god created the universe in 7 days... then took 40 days to flood and kill all the evil things? Oh my "god" that's lame! The only way to explain that, is that my "god is a fairy" thing is correct... That god loses power.. lowly but surely... dies. The logic that says god when he created the universe was say, x powerful.. and when he killed off everyone but Noah and co, he was x / 10000, power... Now he'd have to be something like x / -x ? Maybe that's why people have to go to church? God is so weak he no longer sees everywhere... but only in churches once every Sunday? Really though, the people who believe in religions need to wake up and smell the coffee... join my religion!! Generally, its a religion that says religious holidays are good, but we'll ignore all that other stupid book stuff that obviously was written by alot of different people... I mean, if it was made by one person, it wouldn't contradict itself. Finally, with parts of the bible look like their named after the person that wrote that part... John, Paul... etc... Here's advice to anyone planning to invent their own religion... Boring names don't make it any more convincing! Write out a timeline to start off with... Include dinosaurs in your creation story... Religious holidays give it more followers, people like relaxing... Don't make the religious holidays family orientated... Avoid that at all costs! The higher power, normally called god, should be in complete control, don't invent a devil, it'll split your religion into undivided groups... Include a couple of things you believe in into the law system of the religion, and laws should be in modern English and have a fair amount of leverage... E.g. You should not kill, unless to survive. Avoid silly rituals... E.g. Worship me day!

Made By Flik!